rabbit's foot, anyone?

sooooooooo someone stole my wallet. my favorite floral print princess wallet. the one containing all my id cards, social insurance number (i know i'm an idiot), hannah's air miles card, pictures of larry's watermelon hair, a chunk of my rent money, pretty much my whole life. I am still a pile of sadness. I had to make a billion phonecalls, including one to the police and quite honestly I am so sick of having to call the police about things. I don't have any credit cards so fortunately that's nothing to worry about. but yeah. I know it's bad and all but I kinda wish I could find whoever it is, get my rent money/valuables back & then go all reservoir dogs on his fucking ass. like perfectly mutilate that fucker. okay maybe not. but I am really angry and I got a few punches in me. what with getting harassed by exhibitionists and mentally unstable pseudo homeless men at work, borderline home invasions etc. I need some release. to top off this SHIT WEEK on my way home I got assaulted by plastic cups being blown around violently by harsh winds, and then completely assassinated by apocalyptic rain. and I decided to wear my cute white lace outfit today too. clearly there's some kind of satanic gypsy curse on me and it's just a matter of time before the Lamia drags my ass to hell. ah.

synthetic smiling ultra light

in a vague attempt at distraction I put together a few polyoutfits to fuel my fashion fantasies, join me & indulge:

i am not a demon but i certainly am a magnet

ugh. so um. quickly scanning through my posts I don't think I even bothered to mention this guy before but like, now I just gotta. so yeah I work at a videostore in an ultra residential area. every once in a while I will get an extra serving of crazy via some mentally disturbed customer ( see this post ... urrgh ) but it's usually limited to moderate, manageable doses. I'm not easily intimidated, and I am too proud to show fear in most cases.  /end disclamer

so there's this tall sketchy asshole who used to come to the store every Monday for 2for1. he'd usually rent 8-10 movies at a time & they'd all come back a week later covered in what I assume to be oil pastels. the first thing I noticed was the fact that this guy smells (and oh no i kid you not) of rotten meat. and this isn't just a vague sniff of rotten meat in passing. this is a 10 meter radius of fill-your-nostrils, make-you-cry stench. so as you can imagine by now, whenever he came in he made everyone uncomfortable and I truly couldn't wait for him to leave. at first, he wasn't much of a talker. he'd usually spend around 45mins choosing his pile of movies, pay for them & then gtfo. unfortunately, this changed about 2-3 months ago when his *conspiracies* started.

so yeah. it all started on the Sunday after the last *Free Film Friday* /won't go into details bout FFF basically all you need to know is there was a clear plastic box on the counter for donations to benefit a children's hospital.  Smelly McCrazypants barges into the store all hysterical and shit claiming to have witnessed Pure Evil. he rambles on about how his eyes and mind have been tainted by the knowledge of this Terribly Unforgivable Deed~ and then cuts to the chase and accuses my Awesome Pregnant Manager of stealing 5$ from the charity fund.  no no serious.

what actually happened was she needed some billz and had too many coins so she switched it up a bit. which is perfectly legal and no one gives a shit cause the amount remains the same.  but this was too much of a rational explanation for Smelly McCrazypants.  he refused to believe this scenario and instead went on an hour long rant about how some things should never be forgiven or forgotten / how if we let this slide our hearts will become cold, twisted and black / he's a good person he's just misunderstood / unspeakable evil is everywhere like dog feces polluting the streets and grass / we should really look up his daughter on fb an let her know he painted a mural for her at the food bank / his love for his daughter is unconditional and too  pure for the world so the government took her away and his ex wife is a demonic crack head.

after that hour-long incoherent m i n d f u c k, Larry ( who also had the misfortune to witness everything ) and I decided it might be best to warn our Awesome Manager & Friend. we called her, she had a good laugh & that was that for 2+ weeks. by then we just assumed hey maybe he's back on the meds he clearly needs and all is well now.