so this week wasn't as liberating as anticipated. on my first night alone there was a spider in my room. being the Wuss that I am, I exiled myself to the living room and slept on the couch. but yo. that spider man, it had like madd survival skillz it was freaky. it knew I wanted to squish it and it put itself in an unsquishable corner and the second it had an opening, it ran and hid under my heater. which is right next to my "bed". which is on the floor. so yeah fuck that man enjoy my room I'm gonna go chill on the couch and cry silent tears into the night.
on the bright side I did in fact manage to do a decent amount of cleaning. and didn't go insane from missing Joe. although I really wouldn't mind having him by my side right now. ah. Cleo had to reschedule, which sucks cause I really can't wait for my hair to get done. my roots are insane now. so I bought a bleaching kit. I might be blond for a weekend........ not particularly down, but better blond than the pipicaca brown/yellow combo I got now. plus it'll make her job easier on monday.
I also really hope I can strip away the sourness between us because I really miss being able to rely on you and having you rely on me. I really don't appreciate the condescending nature you've been subjecting me to, especially since you of all people should know better than to doubt my love&loyalty to Joe. I really hope you keep those undignified accusations to yourself & purge them from your thoughts. you should know that it truly hurts that you could think so little of me. especially considering all those times I stood up for you and shrugged off any negative comments anyone had to say about you. I never believed you could could contain such rotten bitterness and it saddens me. whatever triggered those "doubts", I honestly think that it had very little to do with my behavior. whatever personal issues you need to deal with that are contributing to your sudden change of character, I truly hope that you deal with them and get over it.
I don't want to lose you, but there is no way I will sit by as you strut around trying to make me feel miserable either.
oh well whatever. Joe will be back & I will get to tackle him and all the weight of tonight will slowly evaporate into oblivion. in the meantime, I have eleven different kinds of juice. // lesson of the day: when people say "never go to the grocery store hungry- you'll end up buying too much, and you'll end up buying things you don't need in large quantities." this goes for thirsty as well. don't go to the grocery store thirsty or you will end up with 11 different kinds of juice.
goodnight
No comments:
Post a Comment