Working at a video store, by the way, is mostly awesome. I get unlimited movies, I get to talk about movies, people ask me for advice on movies, the people I work with are all awesome and there is always candy. And like, I mean GOOD CANDY. Only the best kinds. Buuuuut then there is customers. And I'd say 80% of them are Awesome, fun people. Then there's 12% of them that are okay. The rest are either stupid , evil or both. And Stupidly Evil = not fun to deal with at all.
So this lady comes in, and she starts giving me sass about how the movies are organized. Because she came in tonight wanting to rent an Iranian film, but she didn't have a particular title, genre or director in mind. she was just *Feelin' Iranian Tah-night*... but then she got to our video store and our Iranian movies are all in the International section, mixed up with films from various countries. Basically, you can't just browse the Iranian titles the same way you would be able to just browse through our comedy section. So she starts telling me about her Epic Suggestion. She thinks we should just make a billion sub-categories. Oh, and while we're at it, we should also ~ figure out a way to fix~ everything so all the dvd covers aren't to the side because she Really Hates Having To Tilt Her Head To The Side to read the titles. I mean, how dare we demand so much effort from our customers, eh? First off we actually expect them to Know Something about what they want to rent, and then we have the N E R V E to actually ask them to make the effort to read sideways! and to top it all off, la fucking cerise sur le gateau, we expect them to Remember. The. Alphabet. SHOCK! HORROR!
What this lady forgets to take into consideration, is that we actually do have limited space. We can't just lay all the dvd covers flat face up on the shelves because there is nooooo roooooom. Our store would have to quadruple in size and we would need like at least 18 more shelving units. Not to mention one of those tall library ladders on wheels like in Beauty and the Beast. Oh, and by the way, it is a STOOPID REEKWEST to begin with. First off, it isn't that much of a hassle to tilt your head five degrees to the right. Oh, and Mrs. Einstein, have you tried fucking pulling out a box from the shelf to read it? NO TILTING INVOLVED I PROMISE. ugh. As for her whole country sub-categories idea, not only do we not have enough room, but it would be SOOOO HARD to find anything. aaaand everything would be so scrunched up together that all the dvds would HAVE to be sideways and she'd still be all miserable and complainy.
Anyways, this wasn't the first stupid conversation I have had. For example, I have dealt with Asshole Who Made His Girlfriend Cry and Then Demanded I Make Him Immune To Late Fees Because hurr-dee-durr He Is Just So Awesome. I know how to keep my cool in a stupid, shitty conversation with someone who makes my skin crawl. But this lady. This lady made me want to reach over the counter and slap her right across the face. Here's why: I was very polite and proper with her, even though she was holding up the line for a stupid reason and force feeding me half assed ideas about how to" improve" our store, I remained calm and tactfully explained why it wouldn't work and even provided an example of another customer with a similar request (we have a francophone section instead of a french section and a quebecois section...) and why my Boss turned the idea down. And instead of a "oh, well thanks anyways." or even a "oh, alright." she crinkles her nose like I just handed her a piece of poo, and says "Oh, well, I guess I shouldn't be talking to YOU about this, I mean YOU don't have any power here HAW!".....................
Well, one thing's for sure, lady. I have a lot more power here than you do. And then she goes to my coworker, who essentially tells her exactly what I said except I gave her the short, get-the-fuck-out version and he gave her the in depth play-by-play. And then I was passive aggressive. Because this lady actually ended up spending a good 35 minutes debating her Great Idea with us. And by the end of it, still not accepting failure, she turned and looked at me. And I don't hide my emotions very well so I am pretty sure I was giving her a hateful side-eye. She squawks and says "Oh look, she's sick of me! She's looking at me like aaagh get out of my store you crazy lady! squawwwk!!! a-squawwwk!" and then criquets. and then she left in shame. Knowing we thought she was crazy and her idea is stupid because we didn't deny it. I smiled.
This post is long enough, but here are some things I want, in case you're rich and don't know what to do with your fat wallet:
so much love in my chest.
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